I just had an epiphany, I need to go to Tiffany's. Ha! Sike, nah.
I've been writing about the idea that most people paint a picture of their preference in the other sex, but somehow manage to pursue and acquire someone who possesses qualities that are absolutely opposite. That was like, my brief overshadowing statement to brief you in on what's to come. Last night, I dreamt that I had an apartment of my own and sought out a roommate. Long-story-short, I ended up rooming with a cripple. Or should I say handicapped? I'm not sure if either term is derogatory. If it is, please accept my apologies in advance. Anyways. For some odd reason, I felt the need to create an extreme comfort zone for him. So, while he was out, I crept into his room and saw this image he sketched. Or was it a sculpture? I can't remember. Anyways, the image was either a male or a bald female whose eyes were, well, for lack of a better word, lazy. Its chest was embellished with tattoos and the skin between its thumb and index finger bore puzzle-pieces-like-tattoos. Not your usual puzzle piece. Appeared to be very intricate, web-like and also very dark in color. Its legs were missing. Severed, actually. Picture a mannequin with its legs evidently severed off. Here comes the bizarre part. I took it upon myself, to acquire the tattoos as seen on the body of the sculpture or sketch and have my legs severed as well. For some reason, I had straight-black-wavy-hair in my dream. Ha! As if. I willfully mutulated other parts of my body, can't remember clearly, to fit the image of this sketch or--sculpture. So, Daniel returns home. I believe that was his name. Turns out the sketch he had in his room was an image of that consisted of all the components he absolutely despised in a person. I greeted him warmly as he rolled through the door and he stared back at me with a face stained with absolute disgust. He appeared insulted. Like, absolutely angry that his perception of beauty was blatantly being insulted by my mere presence. Ironic how he's crippled, yet he dislikes fellow cripples. So now, here I am, severed legs, a body embellished with tattoos that I wouldn't necessarily acquire if it were entirely up to me and I am completely undesirable by the very person I was trying to please. How many times have you fallen victim to this very situation? Oh, feel free to metaphorically synthesize the above statements. Once upon a time, you've changed some aspect of yourself to appeal to someone else's idea of beauty? Both knowingly and unknowingly? Either way, it's usually not a pleasant place. My dream, for the most part, is a perfect representative of that whole idea that most people tend to hate others simply because they see something that mirrors a behavior they hate in themselves. Y'know? Like I said, I've been working on an analytical-prose dedicated to the underlying reasons behind why people paint a picture of their preference in the opposite sex, but never strive to fulfill a relationship with someone who possesses these preferred qualities. I have a friend who glorifies a woman in her most-natural-form and speaks highly of his desires for one. Blah blah blah, he ends up with stank-ghetto-gutter-ass-toads. Doesn't quite compute to proper logic to me. Speaking for myself, I don't have a list of preferences which must hold weight before I pursue whomever further, however, I am seeking a complement. I know a lot of people tend to say, "I want someone who is like me in male/female form"--no. I've observed and have grown to believe that you are more likely to clash with someone who is similar to you, than you are with someone who is your complete opposite.