First and foremost, I thrive off of wielding power. It takes a conscious mind to admit that and fear the potentiality of scrutiny. Nothing wrong with wielding power, it's the matter you exercise your right to wield power that tends to hold fault.
As I disclosed early in the month, I had begun working on my photography project for the Autumn and Winter seasons; unfortunately, I have to consider postponing its execution to next Summer. Bear in mind that this decision was not entirely on the premise of preference. I felt sort-of compelled by the feeble actions of others to do so. However, this halt has driven me back to the drawing board and I am refurnishing some ideas, as well as concepts. It pains me deeply to have to do this, but it is what's best. Both for me and the nature of my art. This is where my mention of power comes into play. I anticipated the coming of this project heavily, only to be left feeling quite hopeless and helpless, and most dreadfully, powerless.
I seldom share details of my strife. I seldom personalize. It is important for me to keep most details of my personal-life just that--personal. It is entirely my choice to suffer in silence. I do not encourage that behavior in others, but I like to believe I have grown strong enough to deal. The beauty of striving in midst of strife, to me, lies entirely with the results. I've observed that amongst its slew of benefits, endurance rewards the soul of its possessor. After turning the age of 18, I began feeling the pressure of adulthood and embracing that desire to succeed and attain my own design of eminence and self-fulfillment by the age of 25. Now that I am approaching 22, I have decided it's best to inhale, exhale and return to creating entirely for the pleasure it yields. Along with releasing those inhibitions, I've learned to smile more often. A smile often serves as the greatest restraint. Whether it be the midst of pressure or stress. Sometimes you have to smile to keep from committing murder. I believe one problem we each deal with, is the idea of applying nonsensical pressures on ourselves to succeed beyond our wildest dreams. Do not get me wrong; an immense degree of discipline is necessary while in pursuit of anything worth having. Envision the life you want for yourself, map it out, attain the necessary instruments and pursue it diligently.
I feel fortunate to be blessed with the gift of insight and the ability to philosophize and analyze. That aspect of my character makes it easier to assess the nature of situations and deal with it accordingly. Of course, not always with the utmost perfection and precision, but I do function effectively. I know that I must strive to attain my brand of success. It is up to me. It is up to you to design your idea of success and pursue it so much so that, everything you do, results in a greater you.
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